FAQ

Hard Hat Kings is your #1 source for construction industry satire, news, and hard-hitting exposes like "How Many Beers Can You Fit in a Toolbelt?” and “The Secret Illuminati of Bulldozer Operators." If you're looking for actual construction advice, you will receive some as all our articles come from real news, but you've come to the wrong place—but you’ll leave entertained.

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, so Yes & No. We take real news and tend to add an element to it with the precision of a journeyman wielding a jackhammer on his first day. Think of us as the drywall mud of journalism—messy, unnecessary, but satisfying. This is to be considered Satire and not taken too seriously despite how true and honest the news actually is...

Of course! If you’ve got a hilarious story idea about the industry, like "Foreman Claims He Invented the Hard Hat," send it our way. Just don’t ask for royalties. Payment comes in high-fives and lukewarm coffee and we will give you story credit. However you need to submit stories based on truth. We only work off of true stories, but if you have a request, submit it. hardhatkings@gmail.com

Not yet, but imagine the possibilities: T-shirts that say, “Safety Third.” Coffee mugs that read, “This is Not OSHA-Approved.” A bumper sticker: “My Other Hard Hat is a Crown.” Stay tuned!

Yes and currently do. We come from the OEM side of the business, marketing and selling Construction & Material Handling Equipment, so we’re more armchair architects than actual builders.

Without a doubt, the plumb bob. It’s just a weight on a string, yet it demands respect like it’s a laser-guided missile. Its also 3,000 years old.

Do you sell tools, safety gear, services or those really loud horns on forklifts? Great! Drop us an email at hardhatkings@gmail.com, and we’ll craft you the most absurdly amazing ad campaign that OSHA will pretend not to notice.

We tried, but they kept ghosting us. Every time we reached out, they claimed they were "in the conduit," whatever that means.

First, you must ascend the Ladder of Destiny (it’s a 12-footer, rated Type IA). Then, successfully argue with an inspector without shedding tears. Finally, declare yourself King during a morning huddle and record it on social media and send it to us. Bonus points if nobody challenges you.

Firm. Very firm.

It’s part of a secret construction rite of passage. You’re not a real tradesperson until you’ve creatively repurposed a shop rag, a blueprint, or yesterday’s lunch receipt.

Foremen don’t drink coffee—they absorb it through sheer willpower. That thermos they carry? Just for show. Real foremen generate caffeine naturally through stress and yelling.

Absolutely. Emotional support hammers are encouraged but if co-workers know it, it may walk away, because that's stupid. FYI as long as they’re union-certified in union towns and don’t break during a dramatic framing scene, shouldn't be an issue. However emotional support jackhammers are banned for obvious reasons.

Show up with donuts, properly pronounce "excavator," and casually mention that you “tightened a few bolts” on the Golden Gate Bridge. Bonus points if you call someone a rookie for using a tape measure with inches and centimeters.

Yes. To add media follow these steps: 1. Manage FAQs from your site dashboard or in the Editor 2. Create a new FAQ or edit an existing one 3. From the answer text box click on the video, image or GIF icon 4. Add media from your library and save.

You can edit the title from the FAQ 'Settings' tab in the Editor. To remove the title from your mobile app go to the 'Site & App' tab in your Owner's app and customize.