Economists Predict Housing Market in 2025 Will Be Slightly Less of a Dumpster Fire, Meanwhile Local Man Suggests Throwing Economists Into the Fire

A.I. Rendering of "dumpster fire" Chad Conners approves.

ATLANTA, GA— In an astonishing development no one asked for, experts have unveiled their five “thrilling” predictions for the 2025 housing market. While these ivory-tower thinkers forecast a market that’s “only slightly apocalyptic,” local resident Chad Conners, armed with nothing but righteous indignation and a Reddit account, has proposed a radical alternative: “Let’s light the dumpster fire brighter and toss every economist and politician straight into it.”

Here are the professional predictions, which Chad has already described as “peak clownery.”

1. Economist predict: Home Prices Will Rise… Again

As Economist predict, according the experts, 2025 home prices will rise by a "modest" 4%, which they swear is normal and not at all soul-crushing. First-time buyers, on the other hand, have labeled this forecast “psychologically devastating,” as it now costs more to buy a starter home than to fund a small coup in a developing nation. Chad suggests ditching the white picket fence dream entirely and building communities out of old Amazon boxes, “because at least those are free with Prime.”

2. Economist predict: Renters Might Finally Catch a Break (Sort Of)

Renters may see some relief next year as landlords compete to fill units by waiving fees and throwing in perks like free parking. Economists liken this to “Black Friday for renters,” while Chad calls it “proof landlords are up to something shady.” Chad adds, “Free parking? What’s next, a handshake and a lie about how the plumbing works?”

3. Mortgage Rates: Brought to You by Six Flags

Experts predict mortgage rates will average 6.8% in 2025, describing the market as “bumpy” and “volatile,” which Chad interprets as “economic Mad Libs.” Rates may spike unexpectedly due to inflation, but Chad points out that “at least they’re giving us a heads-up before the financial whiplash. Classy.”

4. Economist predict: Home Sales Will Pick Up… Maybe

Economists anticipate a slight uptick in home sales, with desperate buyers finally breaking free from their parents’ basements. But Chad warns this optimism is a trap: “Once you get a house, you’re stuck dealing with property taxes, homeowner associations, and neighbors named Linda who complain about your grass being 0.2 inches too tall.”

5. Economist predict: Climate Risks Could Sink More Than Just Home Values

In 2025, homes in disaster-prone areas might see stagnant prices or declines as insurance costs skyrocket. Experts advise buyers to carefully consider climate risks when house hunting, while Chad sarcastically suggests including “a life raft” as a new standard home feature. “I want Zillow to add a filter for ‘floats in a Category 5 hurricane,’” he quipped.

Final Words of “Wisdom”

Despite these dire warnings, experts remain cautiously optimistic. Buyers are resilient, they say—although Chad believes the only resilience left in America is “our ability to scream into the void while drinking boxed wine.”

For now, the 2025 housing market looks like it will remain a chaotic scavenger hunt for both buyers and renters. Meanwhile, Chad is busy organizing a local “Economists Into the Fire” rally. When asked for comment, Chad said, “I’m not saying it’ll fix the housing market, but I’m not not saying it either.”

While economists are hedging their bets on a mildly improved market, younger voices are weighing in with fresh perspectives. Eight-year-old Laura Chen, an aspiring economist and second-top of her third-grade class, offered her analysis: “The real problem is nobody’s sharing. If we all just traded houses like Pokémon cards, maybe everyone could get one they like!” Chen’s vision of equitable housing swaps might seem impractical, but it certainly resonated with frustrated buyers, many of whom are likely wishing for the simplicity of recess negotiations over Zillow bidding wars. While many agree with Chen, others have suggested, Chen is 8 years old and getting a quote from her on this serious issue shows the lack of integrity of this news source in which this news writer thinks we need to add a few more people to Chad's dumpster fire.

We asked world famous economist Milton Friedman for a quote but he declined due to passing away in 2006.