John Deere Celebrates 75 Years of Bulldozing Through Competitors, Hopes Fancy New Badge Will Distract From the Tears of Rival Brands

DUBUQUE, IA—In a shocking revelation that proves the longevity of midwestern engineering and stubbornness, John Deere announced its 75th anniversary in the dozer market with all the fanfare one might expect from a company that once thought, “Let’s paint all our machines green and see what happens.”

This milestone marks three-quarters of a century since the release of the original MC dozer in 1949, a machine that revolutionized the industry by giving farmers and contractors alike the ability to mercilessly flatten anything that stood in their way—be it dirt, rocks, or hopes and dreams.

Matt Costello, John Deere’s Product Marketing Manager for Dozers and chief “badge idea guy,” expressed pride in the brand’s history: “We’re thrilled to mark this 75-year milestone with a commemorative badge on our dozers. Because nothing says ‘engineering excellence’ quite like slapping a shiny sticker on something heavy.” Costello added that the badges are meant to reflect John Deere’s commitment to “durability, performance, and looking cool in dealer showrooms.”

A History of Flattening Everything in Sight

John Deere’s storied dozer history is filled with groundbreaking innovations, such as the 1958 all-yellow 440 crawler, which gave industrial workers a reason to stop borrowing their dad’s tractor for construction projects. In the 1970s, Deere made North American history with dual-path hydrostatic drive technology, essentially telling competitors, “Get on our level or get out of the dirt.”

Deere also earned acclaim for its 764 high-speed dozer in 2010, capable of traveling at speeds up to 25 km/h, which we assume was invented so operators could feel the wind in their hair while pretending they were racing NASCAR on a jobsite.

Celebrating the Future with…More Blades?

The company is moving full throttle into its next era with upgrades to its Smart Grade technology, allowing customers to “work smarter, not harder,” a slogan that doubles as a jab at other brands still using sticks and string for grading. “Our new systems are so advanced, the dozer practically begs to replace your crew’s job,” Costello joked, possibly foreshadowing future lawsuits.

In the meantime, the commemorative 75-year badge will remind operators of John Deere’s unmatched contributions to the industry—or, as one competitor anonymously remarked, “75 years of showing up to the party and stealing all the cake.”

Deere enthusiasts are encouraged to purchase these special-edition dozers, if only to one day tell their grandchildren, “Back in my day, we didn’t need autonomous AI bulldozers to crush a worksite—just guts, gears, and an overpriced green machine.”