Local Waste Transfer Station Manager Announces Plans to Transform Landfill into Hobbit Village

Hobbits & Trash

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BAG END Visual Plan by Carl Jenkins

PINE RIDGE, IA — In a bold move to combine environmentalism with literary escapism, local waste transfer station manager Carl Jenkins announced plans Monday to convert the region’s largest landfill into a fully functioning Hobbit village.

“Why should this mound of garbage just sit there decomposing when it could be a magical haven of round doors and second breakfasts?” Jenkins said during a press conference, gesturing dramatically at the 60-foot-tall mountain of trash behind him. “One man’s refuse is another man’s Bag End.”

The ambitious project, dubbed Mount Middle-Earth, will feature a series of cozy, earth-sheltered Hobbit holes crafted from repurposed materials, including discarded washing machines, old tires, and a seemingly infinite supply of plastic lawn flamingos.

“Instead of toxic methane emissions, we’ll have chimneys puffing out the warm, inviting scent of fresh-baked bread,” Jenkins explained, adding that he’s already begun work on a “Prancing Pony-style tavern” made entirely of reclaimed pallets and dented beer kegs.

While Jenkins has received praise for his creativity, some locals are skeptical of the project’s feasibility.

“I’m all for recycling, but the idea of hosting garden parties on top of 30 years of diaper sludge doesn’t sit right with me,” said resident Martha Wilkins. “Plus, the last time I checked, Hobbits didn’t have to deal with seagulls dive-bombing their tea parties.”

Environmentalists have also raised concerns, noting that Jenkins’ plan to turn the landfill’s leachate runoff into a “charming little trout stream” might require a bit more engineering than a few PVC pipes and duct tape.

Eye of Sauron made for a home for a racoon.

Despite the criticism, Jenkins remains undeterred. He has already recruited a team of local LARP enthusiasts to assist with landscaping and plans to install a giant, flaming Eye of Sauron made from broken satellite dishes to deter raccoons.

“The landfill has been a blight on this community for decades,” Jenkins said. “But with a little vision—and maybe some elvish magic—it can become a symbol of hope, whimsy, and composting.”

As of press time, Jenkins was seen sketching plans for a Mordor-themed recycling center where residents can dispose of unwanted “preciouses.”

#wastetransfer #bagend #hobbits #raccoons