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GROVE CITY, PA—In what’s being dubbed the "dirtiest deal in baseball history," DuraEdge Products Inc. has leveraged its unyielding grip on Major League Baseball’s infield soil market to secure exclusive rights to the league’s kiss cam for the entire 2026 season. The company, best known for supplying MLB stadiums nationwide with their signature “Pittsburgh Red Bed Claystone,” has sealed an unprecedented agreement that will guarantee every kiss cam moment in every MLB stadium features none other than DuraEdge owner Grant McKnight’s face, passionately blowing kisses directly at the camera.
"I’m not saying I am baseball, but without my dirt, you’ve got a slip-and-slide for shortstops," McKnight said, flashing a grin at a press conference held atop a mountain of freshly-mined clay. “This is about putting my face where it belongs—on the hearts and minds of America.”
From Clay to Cam Stardom
McKnight’s meteoric rise from humble clay peddler to jumbotron sensation has been nothing short of cinematic. DuraEdge’s monopoly on premium infield dirt began at Slippery Rock University and blossomed into what some are calling the "soil version of the American Dream." By tapping into Pennsylvania’s unique clay, McKnight developed a proprietary mixture that stabilizes infields, absorbs water, and keeps ballplayers from executing their best ‘sliding into home like a Slip ‘n Slide’ impressions.
“Clay is the foundation of the game,” McKnight explained, as he held a handful of dirt aloft like a championship trophy. “And now, I’m the foundation of the kiss cam.”
MLB's Groundbreaking Partnership
Despite initial hesitation from MLB officials, sources confirm the deal went through after being reminded that no one can play baseball without DuraEdge’s dirt. In addition to the kiss cam takeover, the contract also includes terms for McKnight to occasionally wink, throw finger guns, and lip-sync to Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On during late-inning kiss cam moments.
“Honestly, anything that keeps Grant happy keeps our fields playable,” said one anonymous groundskeeper, his voice quivering with gratitude as he sharpened his rake. “He’s the reason the infield isn’t a giant puddle every time it rains. And now he’s bringing the rain to kiss cam fans.”
Despite the excitement in the groundskeeping world, fans have been less enthusiastic. One fan expressed concern, stating, “Look, I’m just here for the game. I don’t need to see a middle-aged man blowing kisses at me during every seventh-inning stretch. But, hey, whatever keeps the shortstop from turning into a slip-n-slide.”
McKnight's Future Plans: Dirt, Kisses, and Beyond
Already eyeing the future, McKnight has teased plans for 2027 to replace ceremonial first pitches with "ceremonial first handfuls of dirt," a nod to the perfect mixture that has made him a household name. “Why pitch a ball when you can toss perfection?” he mused, tossing a small handful of clay into the air as if to prove his point.
As the 2026 season looms, McKnight is preparing for a kiss cam takeover of epic proportions. Whether fans are ready or not, McKnight’s clay might keep the field in shape—but it’s his face that’s about to steal the show.
“Next up,” McKnight said with a wink, “we’re bringing the dirt to your screen. Get ready for some ‘dirtier’ kisses than ever before.”
For more on the upcoming season of romance, baseball, and potentially excessive displays of affection, visit www.duraedge.com or check your local MLB broadcast for a glimpse of the kisses you never knew you needed.
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