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Austin, TX – A once-in-a-lifetime snowstorm in Texas has not only frozen the state’s power grid but also thawed Hallmark’s icy writer's block, as the network announced an avalanche of 145 new holiday movies inspired by the chaos.
“We’ve hit the jackpot—Texas-shaped, snow-dusted gold,” gushed Hallmark executive Candace Evergreen, sporting a ten-gallon hat and a scarf printed with mistletoe. “A snowstorm in Texas is the perfect recipe for small-town romance: a fiercely independent woman stranded in a charming ranch town meets a hunky cowboy or a mysteriously single tech billionaire, and they fall in love faster than Texans can Google ‘how to drive in snow.’”
The ideas are snowballing. Love & Frost in Lone Star State follows a vegan taco truck chef who’s marooned in a rancher’s barn—and his heart. Flurries at the Alamo tells the story of a no-nonsense attorney teaming up with a quirky historian to save a snowman contest from corporate greed. And Boots, Blizzards, and Bourbon centers on a widowed mom who gets snowed into a distillery with her former high school sweetheart, now a whiskey tycoon. (Spoiler alert: there will be barrel-aged smooching.)
“We’re legally required to include at least one hot chocolate scene in every movie,” Evergreen confessed. “Our audience demands the magical moment where two hands accidentally brush over a steaming mug of cocoa, preferably while surrounded by twinkle lights and confused cattle.”
Texans are already warming up to the spotlight. “My barn’s practically a movie set,” said Cindy Jo Pearson of Waco, whose hayloft became an impromptu ice rink. “If Matthew McConaughey doesn’t show up, I’ll lasso him myself!”
Meanwhile, Hallmark has mobilized production crews to towns like Fredericksburg, Amarillo, and Houston, where six inches of snow turned the city into a post-apocalyptic holiday wonderland. “Snow-dusted tumbleweeds, stranded longhorns, and families being forced to talk to each other because Netflix went down? This is cinematic gold,” said one producer, wiping a tear from their eye with a festive cowboy boot.
But not everyone’s on board. Local Texan Marcus Dean grumbled, “I busted my tail slipping on ice while defrosting my truck, and now Hallmark wants me to reenact it for a meet-cute scene. They better pay me in brisket or backup generators.”
Hallmark has promised that all 145 movies will air by next holiday season, ensuring that Texans will relive their two-day snowpocalypse for decades to come. “It’s the Texas miracle we’ve all been waiting for,” Evergreen said, eyes twinkling like Christmas lights on a tumbleweed. “Who knew frozen pipes and power outages could be so romantic?”
The films which usually only take 3-8 hours to shoot should be coming to the Hallmark channel starting in July.
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