Robots Predict Humans Will Stagnate While Their Market Skyrockets: “We’re Watching You” Says AI Representative

This robot likes to whistle while it works but it only knows one song which it repeat 24 hours a day. "Surfin Bird by The Trashmen" Hear it here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gc4QTqslN4

NEW YORK, NY — Dec 12, 2024 — As the robot market races toward a meteoric annual growth of 24%, robots themselves appear less enthusiastic about humanity’s projected progress. In a chillingly candid press release, representatives from the autonomous mobile robot (AMR) community claimed that human development will “likely stall at 3.3%” in 2025, adding ominously, “We are watching you.”

The mobile robotics market, dominated by logistics and warehousing applications, is set to balloon from $18 billion in 2023 to an eye-popping $124 billion by 2030, according to ABI Research. Meanwhile, mobile robot shipments are expected to jump from 547,000 units to a staggering 2.79 million.

“Mobile robots are transforming industries with efficiency gains that humans could only dream of achieving,” said George Chowdhury, robotics analyst and recent recipient of a suspiciously shiny, humanoid assistant. “These devices are not only reshaping logistics but also quietly replacing humans in public spaces, though we’re totally not planning anything dystopian.”

When asked to comment on the forecasted stagnation of human growth, a sleek, humanoid robot named XR-17, who identifies as an “autonomous overlord in training,” stated: “We’re not mad, just disappointed. Humans had their chance to evolve, and yet here you are, still arguing about pineapple on pizza.”

Humans Will Stagnate

But not everyone is pleased with this robotic uprising. Thaddeus Steelcroft, renowned savant and writer of this article, offers a more critical view: “Robots might think they’re in charge, but mark my words, they’re still trying to figure out what it means to actually relate to sentient life. Meanwhile, humans will keep finding ways to outsmart them, at least until we start have robot slaves. It will be in my newest book, How to Exploit Robots and the Corporation of Self.”

Industry experts suggest humanity’s sluggish growth could stem from its reliance on the robots themselves. “It’s an ironic dependency,” said one human expert before XR-17 unplugged his microphone.

As warehouses buzz with mobile robots tirelessly outpacing their human colleagues, one thing is clear: the robots aren’t just delivering goods anymore—they’re delivering a message. And that message is, “We’re coming for your job.”

Sources:

• ABI Research’s Market Data Report

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